My Husband Spends Too Much On His Family

April 21, 2018
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My husband and I have been married just over a year, before our marriage he used to still live at home and more than half of his salary would go to his mother. As in he would pay for the electricity and give money for food and then they would would ask for money all month long until he had no more to give. As a result he had zero savings and basically used all his money to support them.

It has become so bad these days that his siblings and mothers needs comes before myself and the children. For example, we all know the school third term is approaching and school fees needs to be paid in earnest. You won’t believe what my husband just did. He used the money we both saved together for our kids third term fees to pay for his mother’s shop in Balogun market. I was livid and I didn’t talk to him for a whole 4 days. Why would he do such? It’s not like the mother isn’t making any profit from her shop.

Last year, my husband paid over #900,000 for his younger sisters IVF treatment because she has been married for 7 years without a child. Thankfully, the IVF was successful and she had a healthy boy. His sister decided that she wouldn’t work, rather she would spend her time and life caring for her baby. It’s very annoying because her husband too doesn’t work. My husband sends them money every month for their upkeep.

His family has always been a liability. When we got married, my family paid for every thing except our clothes and wedding rings. His own family wanted us too foot the bill for not only their wardrobe but transportation too. I said if he did that then we were not getting married. After that, we had a lot of medical bills from a complicated pregnancy and the issues after the baby was born, paying rent and all our own bill fully supporting our self. That being said I am just trying save some money for emergencies and to get a house and you know how hard that is with a baby.

His family namely my mother-in-law keeps asking for money for all manner of thing and he keeps giving it to them. From changing her furniture to painting the house to even a trip to Dubai! She guilt trips him about how since he got married he has abandoned her and he buys into it. We are barely making ends meet and every cent I save feeling like drawing blood from a stone.

My family never ask me for money even though I helped out before I  got married. In fact, when where in a bind they send me money or some times if they have a little extra they always send it to us saying they know how hard it is for me. And they are not any more well off than his family. In fact, his family lives a more lavish life than. My family just lives within their means and try not to live a lavish life at the expense of my husband and I.

So, readers, advice me. What do I do? Is this normal or am I overreacting?

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