There’s nothing like pregnancy to bring you and your partner closer together – until it’s time to pick a baby name, and you learn that your partner hates the one at the top of your list. A lot of parents said they disagreed with their significant other about what to name their baby. The good news is that most parents eventually decided on a baby name they both liked. Below are a few tips to help you and your partner find that common ground.
Listen carefully. When people argue, they tend to concentrate on what they’re saying to try convince the other person. Listen to your partner instead. Reflect your partner’s words back to him or her. When it’s your turn to listen, avoid jumping in to offer a counterpoint.
Keep things in perspective. Baby name likes and dislikes are very personal, so emotions can run high. It can be hard not to get upset if you’ve had a particular name in mind even before you got married and your partner immediately dismisses it. When their partner rejects it, it feels like a personal rejection. Consciously remind yourself that your partner’s feelings about the name have more to do with their attachment to their own ideas and identity than with any rejection of you.
Remember that you’re on the same team. Approach the situation as partners trying to solve a problem, rather than adversaries blaming each other. When you both embrace this mindset, it’s much easier to work together.
Give it more time. If you’re getting nowhere, resist the urge to force a decision. This can be especially hard if you’re the one who’s pregnant – that due date may loom much larger for you than for your partner.
When you still can’t agree on a baby name
Sometimes parents just can’t find a name they both like. If this happens to you, it doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed and your baby will be nameless. Consider these alternatives:
One final note: Even if you end up having to compromise, you may grow to love the name as you associate it with your child.