Being a newlywed is a blissful time for couples. In this stage, couples are still getting to know each other and are in the process of adjusting in this new phase of their relationship. Your in-laws may be great people but actually living with them may not be such a good idea. Sure, you may be able to save money by residing with them but you might end up having to pay a higher price in the long run. That’s the case of one of our readers who has a huge problem with her in-laws. This is the mail she sent;
I have been married 9 months and was dating my husband for 9 years. Coming from a strong Christian background, it wasn’t appropriate for us to live/travel together until marriage. So finally, after waiting many years to achieve career goals, we got married. And it has been the biggest change of my life. My husband built a big family home a few years ago, so I live with him, his parents and his sibling. It has been an incredible challenge for me and I’m not sure if my depression is due to my own issues or partly due to our living arrangements. he is convinced they are my own issues. We would love to move out, but we cannot afford it as we have other financial responsibilities.
The first few months were great, I know his family well and it was awesome just being together. But over the past few months, life has thrown some curve balls – grandparent passed away, both our dads had massive health scares and we both started new jobs. Suddenly I find myself suffocating at his house. I can’t escape his family to have my own space, and I don’t have the emotional privacy to deal with everything. HIs family is great and all, however I am just craving some control. I am beginning to feel like this isn’t the home of my husband and I, I feel like another child being told what to do by parents and my role is just to slip into their way of living and just be okay with it.
I have to act like everything is awesome when I step outside our bedroom and laugh and joke like everything is fine with his family. I am not comfortable showing what I am really feeling around them and I am struggling to have the privacy to talk to my husband about everything openly because I fear they will know something is going on. This is really affecting our marriage. He can’t understand why I can’t just try harder to make this place work for me – because we can’t financially afford to get another place and he won’t compromise to rent somewhere. When I first had a few breakdowns, he was understanding, but not anymore. he’s just over it and thinks I’m being dramatic. I had a breakdown tonight and he left me crying in the bathroom and went to sleep. I am sleeping in his sisters room now and all I want to do is go away.
I am so depressed. I dread coming home, I stay at work till late on purpose. Pretending like everything is awesome is getting exhausting.
What do I do?
So there you have it, readers. What should she do? Is she exaggerating and being dramatic?