Although not all mothers-in-law are as wicked as the ones we see on TV, it wouldn’t be wrong to say that it’s quite a task to live your marital life while you’ve got a mother-in-law to answer to.
Some mothers-in-law are the bane of a happy marriage even when they don’t mean to and some are otherwise.
These days, mothers-in-law stories are so scary that one wonders if there could be successful means of co-existing with one under the same roof without causing any friction. Don’t give up easily.
Just understand the situation by using these to guide you on building or mainitaing a good relationship with your Mother – in – law
Establish clear boundaries from the onset
Be sure of what you like and what you don’t. If you don’t like guests taking food into the room, let her know. Say it in the most polite way you can.If you don’t speak up at the right time it’s all going to built up into a huge anger bubble that will burst at the wrong time.
So it is wise to take your stand once in a while although in a pleasing way. Make sure you tell her about the things you like and the ones you don’t. This might help sort some things out. A better option here is bringing it up in a related conversation. This way, there won’t be issues later on.
Don’t complain or Nag
The mistake wives make here is that they tend to complain about their in-laws to everybody especially their husbands. This does no good. It only makes the walls if resentment go higher and higher. So just quit the complaining. Rather, take charge of the matter and try your best to sort it out so it doesn’t trouble you any longer. A wife should note here that she should never give her husband an ultimatum to choose between her and his mother.
Be as calm as ever
Whenever you feel a certain rage boiling inside you, try to think it through and reason things out. It’s best to let go of the petty things while you hold your stand on the bigger issues. But for overall family peace, ignoring a few things and compromising a little may be the right way forward. Know when to hold your tongue. It can sometimes cause more harm than good, so leaving some parts out would actually be better.
Don’t be too expectant.
Most ladies think they can share a mother-daughter relationship with their mother-in-law. This only raises their expectations from the relationship and leads to problems. When what they expect doesn’t happen, it becomes a problem.
Stop involving a third party
Cut the middle man. Direct discussions are the best way to resolve matters so make sure you don’t let the middle man create any misunderstandings. If you’ve got a problem, talk it out directly and don’t tell your husband to solve the problem for you.
Don’t involve her in your marriage The fact is that mothers would always take sides with their sons no matter what the problem is, so make sure you keep her out of your marital issues and fights because you’re going to become the villain once the mother-son unite.
Don’t try to over-impress them
Don’t try too hard to impress them because that’s going to cause their demands to increase. Over doing things would only keep the bar raised. Be good to them but avoid going for the ‘ideal daughter-in-law’ title as there’s nothing like that.
Above all, be respectful, loving and courteous to her and always remeber to pray always
Treat her the way you treat your mother. Remeber, one day you will also be a mother in law.
Would be great to here from you on your experience and thoughts on this.